Breaking News: McTalking Fast Food May Be Adopted (Riots begin in WebWorld)

If I can stop laughing for just one itty bitty second to write this blog post, then I promise I’ll have a point*. In the meantime – I’m sorry, but I don’t understand the worth (or time and energy) in getting angry about a reference to adoption in a McDonald’s fast food commercial. Seriously.

Letter writing campaigns? Boycotting your kid’s favorite place to eat? All because of a WORD?

Google “mcdonald adoption commercial” and you will get a plethora of anger about one tiny adoption reference. Instead of falling prey to all this stupidity, here’s my take:

(Scene: McDonald’s food in a meeting. They are sitting and talking at a round table)
Chicken nuggets: We’re related? Get out. (rural American accent)
Chicken Sandwich: Yeah, third cousins. Too bad you have to leave so soon. (Hispanic accent)
Parfait: You know fries and I are related. (French accent)
Fries: Just because I am French fries doesn’t mean we’re related Parfait. We look nothing alike. (Common Midwest American accent)
Chicken nuggets: Maybe you’re adopted (rural American accent)
(Long silence)
Chicken nuggets: or not (rural American accent)

During the “Long silence” (and as I picture in my mind, with the cartoons my thoughts have become at this stage of ridiculousness) both Chicken Nuggets and French Fries turn their attention away from each other and are now eying Parfait (off camera, of course).

At that very moment Chicken Nuggets begins wondering why in the heck Parfait is at the table, claiming to be related, when he is clearly not – After all, Parfait is the only McTalking Food not made of chicken, fried or speaking with a commonly heard accent in America.

Then Chicken Nuggets figures out that it’s not French Fries that is adopted, it’s Parfait – Poor little Parfait is just trying to fit in with his McFamily and French Fries covered for him (remember the long silence? French Fries was only respecting Parfait’s space he is still coming to terms with the fact that no McReunion is in site) until Chicken Nuggets came to his senses to say “… or not”.

Instead of getting angry at the McIndustry as a whole, let’s get angry about the baby-stealing McAgency who sent Agent Hamburgler to smuggle baby Parfait across international borders, without regard to the Convention on the Rights of the Child, in order to make lots and lots of money for his ninty-nine cent sale of Parfait to insecure adoptive mother, Vanilla Shake (who only believes McBirthmothers are drug dealing whores).

Because this should be about the McBabies, darn it, and not about all you mere human McPatrons who don’t understand McAdoption in the least. Shame on you ‘average’ human watchers of a McMercial who can’t even begin to understand the McFeelings involved. Stay out of it.

——

* McDiculous was my point, BTW… Just in case you didn’t catch that…