As an adoptive mother, I/we don’t celebrate “Birthmother’s Day”…

… I believe in celebrating my son’s First Mother on the same day that we celebrate my motherhood – on “regular” Mother’s Day.

I believe that I should decide how to celebrate my son’s First Mother, and as [The Kidlet] gets older, I believe HE should decide how to honor her when/where/if he wants to do so.

I believe that because I am not a birthmother, I don’t have the right to tell birthmothers how to celebrate themselves as mothers. If they find it appropriate (comforting/empowering/easier) to celebrate “Birthmother’s Day” then they have that right.

I don’t think there is any harm in those who want to celebrate “Birthmother’s Day” so long as they also recognize the fact that a mother is a mother is a MOTHER – and that they don’t criticize those who believe in celebrating Mother’s Day for anyone who is a mother (by any way).

I don’t agree with some (adoptive) mothers who feel compelled to make a sharp separation between their child(ren)’s birthmother and themselves, on a day that, by definition, celebrates mothers – all mothers. In fact, I see the necessity to define a mother as “not enough of a mother to be recognized as a mother on a day for mothers” as a blatantly obvious sign of jealousy or insecurity (or both).

I also don’t agree with the idea that celebrating mothers (of all kinds) should only take place on certain ‘defined’ days, or by someone’s idea of which day ‘belongs to’ whom.

Last year I managed to get myself kicked off of the adoption forums because of these thoughts – a year later, I’m still sticking to my guns. Celebrate Mother’s Day as you will, but without the dismissal of any particular ‘group’ of mothers.

I reject your (Birth)Mother’s Day reality and substitute my own.